When I got involved in Immanuel Presbyterian Church I was surrounded by mothers who breastfed their children. I was weirded out by it at first because I never grew up around that, but the more I was exposed to breastfeeding, the better I felt about it and the better informed I became about it. I will never speak badly of someone who chooses to formula feed her baby because it’s her decision and none of my business but I became a huge supporter of breastfeeding. When I found out I was pregnant with my first child, I knew that that is what I would do. And then when I found out that Robert was born with a heart defect, I was adamant about breastfeeding him. Of course, I couldn’t breastfeed him often since he was in NICU but I was given a pump which I used faithfully every three hours and then delivered my meager supply to the NICU nurses. Robert had one nurse who fed him formula one time and Christopher threw a fit (or something more manly). Each time after that, when it was time to feed Robert, if I had not managed to get a bottle to the nurse, she would call me to ask what she should do. When Robert was flown to CHOP at three days old I was in no condition to fly with him so Christopher and I sent Betsy with Robert and we flew to Philly several hours behind them. I had to keep up my milk supply which meant that I had to pump in the airport. I couldn’t use my electric pump discreetly in public where there were outlets so I had to use a manual pump, and Christopher was kind enough to help me. We went into one of the family restrooms and were in there for 30 minutes or so, I’m sure. About 10 minutes before we were through, there was knock at the door. Christopher said “Just a minute” or something like that, we finished pumping, cleaned up the equipment, and then opened the bathroom door. There outside was an older lady in a wheel chair, her attendant, and her husband, looking at us very angry and horrified. Can you guess what they thought we were doing? One part of me got very angry but the bigger part laughs every time I think about that.
When Alex was almost three months old, we took the boys to Christopher’s school to meet some people. Everyone was commenting on how big Alex was and one man actually asked me what kind of formula I used. I told him I used good, old-fashioned breast milk and I believed in feeding my child the natural way. He became obviously embarrassed, but it didn’t bother me a bit. I know I am doing the right thing for Alex, just as I did for Robert, by nursing him. See how fat and happy he is!
I have always wanted a daughter. Several daughters, in fact. I have three girl names picked out and I could easily come up with more. God has, however, decided to bless us with boys. Boys whose names we agonized over and took weeks or months to agree on. Active, silly, precious boys who have stolen their mommy’s heart forever. I’ve decided that being a mom of boys is a pretty great thing. I still hope to be blessed with a daughter some day but, for now, I am more than content with my two boys. And they seem to be pretty happy with each other. Robert loves his baby brother and Alex adores Robert. Robert sweetly shares his toys and hands Alex his paci and pats his head and kisses his face. Alex watches Robert’s every move and smiles and laughs at him. Both boys share my lap as I read them a story and Robert sweetly tolerates Alex’s flailing baby arms and unbalanced little body. They are brothers who seem to already have a special bond and who I pray will grow up as very best friends to one another.
Yes, I look ridiculous, but we were having a fun family day and Christopher wouldn’t take “no” for an answer.
(This was a great trip as I discovered that I could fit in a jean size two sizes lower than I expected!)
Just a minute ago I heard Robert crying. This was not a good sign because usually when he wakes up with that particular cry it means that he will wake up several more times in the night and each time he is going to scream and cry for several minutes while I try to comfort him and figure out what is wrong. But I was more concerned for my baby than annoyed so I rushed into the room to see what was wrong. He was still lying down, but I think his hand was stuck between the mattress and the crib. I’m not positive about this because it came out easily when I pulled on it. I picked Robert up and he put his head on my shoulder. He whimpered a little bit but was quiet. I decided to sit down with him in the rocker and see if he’d snuggle with me for a short while. As I sat down, I realized how much I missed those moments with my son. I used to rock Robert every night while he nursed or had a bottle, and then we’d snuggle for a few minutes while I prayed for him. Those moments were so special. After Alex was born I stopped doing that. There was no time for it anymore and Robert is already out of the habit. So when I sat down with him I could tell that he wasn’t as excited about rocking as I was. But he was a good sport. He got in a position that was comfortable for him and let me rock him for a few minutes. I was hoping he’d fall asleep again like he used to and then I’d lay him in his crib, but he kept fidgeting with his hands and face. I felt bad for being so selfish so I asked if he wanted me to put him back in his crib or if he’d like to keep rocking with me for a few minutes. He very sweetly pointed to his crib so I stood up with him and laid him back down. My baby is no longer my baby. He’s independent and, while he loves his Momma very much, he’s getting to be a big boy now and wants to go to sleep in bed- not in Mommy’s arms. I know this is a good thing but my heart couldn’t help but break- just a tiny bit- at this revelation.
This post is about a few cute things Robert has been saying and doing lately. There is always something for he is one pretty cute little kid. Yesterday I asked Robert if he wanted to go outside and he started saying “bubbles, bubbles” over and over. His grandparents bought him some bubbles and introduced him to that magic when they were here a few weekends ago, and Robert loved it. 
I was finally able to teach Robert how to blow on the bubble wand to make bubbles instead of putting the wand in his mouth. Yuck.
Every day this week I have heard Robert in his room fussing and whining. When I’ve gone to check on him, he’s been busy trying to pull his Teddy Bear through the bars on his crib. So I’ve gotten the bear out and handed it to him and This is what he wants:
He then insists that I carry the seat outside, and I have to explain that Alex is sleeping and we can’t leave him at the house by himself.
There is a wonderful tradition in the Meredith family of reading “Goodnight Moon” to the little ones. Robert’s Grandmother bought him this book and taught him to say “hush” at the part where it reads, “And a quiet old lady whispering ‘hush’”. Robert loves this word and whenever we put our fingers to our lips and tell Robert “shhh” he says back “hush.” The problem with this, sometimes, is that he likes to say it really loud in church, but at home is a different story. At home, Robert says, “hush, baby” because when we tell him to “shhh” at home it is because he is in Alex’s room making a racket and we don’t want Alex to wake up. Now, even if Alex is wide awake, whenever Robert sees him he says, “hush, baby.”
For today’s church lunch each family was encouraged to bring a dish from a different country. I was nervous about this as I am a very picky eater (I know, I know, I’m horrible) but everything turned out really well. Christopher asked if he could cook for the lunch and of course I let him. He made a wonderful Filipino dish called pancit bihon guisado. Yeah, I can’t pronounce that either, but it was tasty! Robert had fun running around and playing in the nursery while his daddy and I visited, but now I know that I can’t trust him to stay there. I went to check on him and found him outside! I have no idea how he got out there, but it really scared me. Thankfully he stayed right by the doors and had not wandered into the parking lot, but anything could have happened. Thank God for Robert’s safety. Now I’m enjoying a leisurely Sunday afternoon with my husband and youngest son while Robert gets a good long nap. Maybe we’ll visit the pool after he wakes up.
Things have been pretty crazy around here lately. I have to go back a week or two to catch up on things. First, I have to brag on Alex again. May 8th and May 10th Alex slept all through the night. He has not done it since then, but it was still a wonderful Mother’s Day gift to get a good night’s rest. Second, Alex rolled over from his stomach to his back for the first (and only) time on May 10th. I’m so proud of my little guy.
And I’m so proud of my husband who, after three years of hard work, graduated law school last Friday, the 14th, as number one in his class! Betsy and Frank came down for the occasion and we had a wonderful weekend with them. Frank got to see Alex for the first time, and both parents were able to attend the annual IPC Crawfish Boil. They had a great time blowing bubbles and digging around in the dirt with Robert. I think they all wore each other out that day. The Meredith’s left Sunday evening and since Monday Christopher and I have been fighting a terrible head cold so the week has not been a great one.
Christopher began his bar review course Monday and that will continue on for five more weeks. He’ll have a two week break and then three grueling days of taking the bar. Then August will be here and family vacation! I am looking forward to that.
Alex is 11 weeks old today and getting so big! He is getting into 3-6 month clothes already. He holds his head up very well, and he smiles and laughs and loves to watch his brother monkeying around. He is such a delightful little baby. A few days ago Alex learned some hand/eye coordination. He discovered the dog hooked to his car seat handle and started playing with it. Since then, he has discovered his Grover that his daddy bought him in Ohio and the polka dots on my nursing pillow. It was fun watching Alex trying to grab the dots. He is so precious with his big blue eyes and the little dimple in his cheek, just like his daddy. I can’t claim too much as far as physical aspects go but he’s definitely my baby and I love him dearly.
My family loves to take trips to the grocery store together each Friday afternoon. This week, we decided to go today (Thursday) instead. Alex was happy in his car seat by the handle of the buggy and Robert was in the little car attached to the front of the buggy. We were leaving the cereal aisle and I noticed that Robert had been quiet for a while so I peaked in on him and saw that he had a box of Frosted Flakes that he was trying to get into. The sneaky little thing had snatched it off the shelf without Christopher or I realizing it. When we got home I put Alex in his crib and then went back into the kitchen to put the groceries away. I found Robert with several cans of mushrooms around him and the can opener in his hand. While I stood and watched him, Robert tried very hard to open the cans of mushrooms with the opener. Even though he was being disobedient by playing with the can opener (because it’s dangerous with that blade and all), all I could do was stand there laughing. It was so darn cute! He’s obviously a very attentive little fellow.
I am being more and more convicted lately of using my time wisely and educating myself better biblically so that I can be a good Mother and teacher to my sons. It is my responsibility to make sure they grow into godly men but in order for this to happen, I must be a godly mother. And in order to be a godly mother, I must know what it means to be a godly mother. So I picked up two books recently which I hope to read consistently to help me in this task. I must also continue to observe all the godly mothers around me and learn from them. And I must remember my own godly mother and remember what she taught me the 23 years God blessed me with her.
