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Monthly Archives: September 2007

It’s been about six weeks since Mom died. I’m getting better but I had another “moment” last night and again today when I received my sister’s wedding invitation and saw Mom’s name on it. I’ve been kind of dreading the arrival of the invitation for that very reason. They were made about a month before the surgery and no one ever dreamed that Mom would not be here. I feel so bad for Christina. And I really miss my mom. I always called her to tell her the silliest things. I bought a laundry hamper that had wheels while she was in the hospital and I kept thinking that I couldn’t wait to tell her. I never did get to. I’m 23, married, and hoping to start my own family, but I still need my Mom.

Law school for Christopher is going well. He is absolutely loving it and I am going crazy listening to all these cases! It’s cute and fun to see him all excited about what he’s reading and sometimes it is fun to discuss the cases with him and insert my opinion (not that it matters).

Christopher bought me an Ovacue last week and I will start using it soon. It will help track my cycles and tell me the best time to get pregnant. Yeah, we’re still trying. Unsuccessfully. But lately (since school started), I’ve been okay with not getting pregnant. We have no money to spare now, and I have no idea how we would provide for a baby. Who would keep the baby while I worked? Because I will have to work if C is still in school. How would we afford it all? But it would be nice to finally have our baby that we’ve been dreaming of for so long. I’m still not taking any meds and we are still trusting that God will bless us in His time. If His time is while C is still in school, than God will provide the means to provide for that baby.

So nothing new with me. We are going to LA tomorrow for a ladies’ luncheon my parents’ church is hosting in memory of Mom. I hope I can keep myself together.

Mom developed a blood clot sometime after the surgery, but the doctors didn’t catch it until it had already killed her on Friday, August 17. Dad called me early that morning me to tell me the news. It plays over and over in my head, and I can’t get rid of it.

The funeral was Tuesday, August 21 and we buried her the next morning. Everything was perfect and beautiful, including Mom.

Tomorrow will be three weeks since Mom passed away, and it will also be my neice’s 2nd birthday. Mom bought a present and signed a card before she and Dad left for Florida.

The whole family is really struggling right now, but we are trying to keep our eyes fixed on God.

Christopher and I attempted to celebrate our anniversary in the midst of funeral preparations. We’ve been married two years now.