Just a minute ago I heard Robert crying. This was not a good sign because usually when he wakes up with that particular cry it means that he will wake up several more times in the night and each time he is going to scream and cry for several minutes while I try to comfort him and figure out what is wrong. But I was more concerned for my baby than annoyed so I rushed into the room to see what was wrong. He was still lying down, but I think his hand was stuck between the mattress and the crib. I’m not positive about this because it came out easily when I pulled on it. I picked Robert up and he put his head on my shoulder. He whimpered a little bit but was quiet. I decided to sit down with him in the rocker and see if he’d snuggle with me for a short while. As I sat down, I realized how much I missed those moments with my son. I used to rock Robert every night while he nursed or had a bottle, and then we’d snuggle for a few minutes while I prayed for him. Those moments were so special. After Alex was born I stopped doing that. There was no time for it anymore and Robert is already out of the habit. So when I sat down with him I could tell that he wasn’t as excited about rocking as I was. But he was a good sport. He got in a position that was comfortable for him and let me rock him for a few minutes. I was hoping he’d fall asleep again like he used to and then I’d lay him in his crib, but he kept fidgeting with his hands and face. I felt bad for being so selfish so I asked if he wanted me to put him back in his crib or if he’d like to keep rocking with me for a few minutes. He very sweetly pointed to his crib so I stood up with him and laid him back down. My baby is no longer my baby. He’s independent and, while he loves his Momma very much, he’s getting to be a big boy now and wants to go to sleep in bed- not in Mommy’s arms. I know this is a good thing but my heart couldn’t help but break- just a tiny bit- at this revelation.
