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Monthly Archives: July 2019

As Unto the Lord

One of my biggest struggles as a mom is not feeling appreciated by my children. My kids rarely acknowledge the things I do for them. And I rarely hear any kind of compliment from them. So tonight when one of my boys declared the pancakes I made for dinner “the best pancakes I’ve ever had!” I felt pretty glad. But then he followed the compliment up with, “except for my bread pancakes!” His BREAD pancakes. Bread, store bought bread, saturated with butter and doused with fake syrup is better than my homemade old-fashioned pancakes. Ok, kid. Thanks.

A few nights ago, another son said, “I’m so proud I have a mom who is raising five kids. I like to brag on you and my teachers say, ‘Yes, you do have an amazing mom. I don’t know how she does it.’ And I’m like, well the baby is a baby and just watches the tablet. Abigail plays or watches TV. And the rest of us can basically do our work on our own. So I don’t know what’s so hard about it.” Um, thanks for that stab in the heart, my dear oldest child who will not be named. The littles do not just sit in front of a screen, and I absolutely do have to work with the rest of you. On top of schooling three strong willed boys and entertaining and feeding two littles (which is a full-time job in and of itself), I still have to keep up with all the daily household tasks like cooking, laundry, and dishes!

But I didn’t say any of that to him. I didn’t really say anything at all. Because what’s the point? I didn’t appreciate my mom when I was their ages. I can’t expect them to appreciate me. Furthermore, their appreciation should not be my goal. Honoring Christ should be my goal. Appreciating HIM by JOYFULLY doing the good work He has called me to do: raising my children. I should be working “as unto the Lord and not unto men ” (Colossians 3:23). Working “unto men” does not bring joy. It brings depression and resentment and a desire to quit or take a nice long break and let someone else try to do all the things I’m responsible for doing. It brings a belief, even if unacknowledged, that I deserve to be worshiped for doing my job. In my heart, I believe my children should revere me and honor me and, yes, worship me because I gave birth to them and I feed them, clean up after them, and educate them. That is the root of the desire to be “appreciated” by my family. And it is sinful. I should desire God and His approval first above all else, and if I do that, then the acknowledgement of men will not matter.